Irritated with myself for sleeping too late. That's the last of my depression: sleep disruptions. I'm sorry (who am I apologizing too), but I just get so damn anxious at night. I have the most energy around 3am. When I actually fall asleep I too often have nightmares and/or panic attacks. I need to work on this! I miss mornings. Especially in the springtime. Oh, springtime! Springtime mornings. I will actually be able to enjoy you because I am no longer depressed. So I want to be able to enjoy you by actually making it possible to get up at 9am without the assistance of several pots of coffee. This year I even plan on going to Easter Sunday mass. No, I am not becoming a good Catholic. I, of course, hate Christianity. But there was always something very magical and romantic about going to Easter Sunday mass when I was a child. The earth was being reborn and maybe I would see Samantha Epstein there. Her father was Jewish, but I'm fairly certain she was raised Catholic on her Italian side. Sometimes she went to church! Oh, joy! At the age of 30, I want that romance back. I want to watch the early spring/early morning sun beam through the stained glass windows.