My OCDs about sex, time, existential issues, ontological issues, alcohol, hygiene, food, pleasure, loved ones, swallowing, my talent, my writing, my work; the OCDs to read a certain book, wear a certain shirt; cigarettes only as a reward for new sex/drug experiences; OCDs about tainting myself by betraying myself; OCDs about using the wrong word or talking about something important to me in the wrong way. And more. Much, much more.

And underneath all of this - an ocean of anxiety.

It all seems increasing ridiculous, which is good.

What's important is following the flow of awareness. I think of the Indian mystic Osho.

Don't get hung up on compassion and other hippie nonsense! I used to think that I couldn't meditate without becoming a Buddha or a hippie Christ. Some weakling offering hugs to to everyone!

This is wrong. This is morality and the flow of awareness is AMORAL. We can choose to attach to it whatever morality works best for us personally.

Yes, it's probably better to be kind to others, but this is not always necessary.

What's most important is following the flow of awareness. Everything else is just dogma.