Am I a Humanist?

I guess what I was really trying to say is this: People hate Bernie Madoff because when they look at him they see themselves.

If I had written just that I would have made my point 110% and saved the printers a lot of ink, but I want to waste ink. I'm entitled to waste some damn ink. I've earned it.

I even think Stanley Crouch was responding to my letter today in his syndicated column. I think he noticed that I was "inverting". Up is Down and Down is Up. Perspectivism. It's easy to throw out anyone's problem or grievance with inversion. But isn't it really just questioning things? Aren't criminals and lunatics better than the average person? Hell yes! The average person is the worst criminal and lunatic of all. Hitler was far from average but average people were the ones who loaded the ovens.

I invert because inversion now makes sense. Because everything has been inverted to create hate and mediocrity I have to "reinvert" in an attempt to strive for love and spectacularness.

Another thing I was thinking today: LAZINESS IS HARD WORK. Not only that, but nowadays laziness is a duty. Laziness is a revolutionary act. There's nothing "proud" about being a good citizen. There's only pride in being someone like me. Boy, does that sound biased!

Anywho, I have to look at all the GOOD in the world. After all, I did have an excellent jog today. Boy, did it feel good! All the pretty girls were on my way up - when I was too out of breath to focus! And then when I could stroll back - at my leisure - the girls had all disappeared and there were nothing but kids and old ladies! Just my luck!

I stood at the end of the pier and looked out over the beach. 'Twas low-tide. Children were playing in a little gully. Imagine how fetid the gully must have been - all those little kids pissing in there. No wonder we all like playing in such gullies. We crawled out of those gullies billions of years ago, right? Why is it always suppressed when a baby is occasionally born with gills, fins, webbed feet and tails?

Do all of those pretty girls on the boardwalk know how "fishy" they are - literally! If only they could see what they once were - slimy toad-like slugs writhing onto dry land. That image would shatter their shallow complacency!

THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY WE ARE SO ATTRACTED TO THE OCEAN. We like to be reminded of our own mortality. At least I do. It makes life more romantic.

I look out over the thousands and thousands of people on the beach and I am genuinely happy. I am listening to the ocean and really enjoying the moment, but I still think: "I'm not one of these people. I'm an alien. I don't understand them and they will never understand me. I'm so much more warm and sensitive than them and at the same time I am so much colder and prickly."

I'm ready for the next step in evolution: Complete and total self-interest and devotion to one's own life and work. The achievement of all necessary social goals and tasks with no coercion. The celebration of love, pleasure, and sexuality outside of all traditional limits.

I'm upset with them because they are slow and immature and I am made to feel like I am obligated to clean up for them!

But see, I'm struggling. I'm trying so hard to get over the hate. I don't want my writing to become a never-ending scourge on people's backs. I want to write about the LOVE.

Could you imagine if everyone was as intelligent as me?

But then where would be the challenge? And we all need a challenge in life. But Geez Louise! There's just so much (religion, politics, money, economics, morality, technology, the culture, the media, public education, small minds, low IQs - and a thousand other things!) holding us back from being all that we can be.

Am I a humanist?