The Cringe Herb

Gingko Biloba is the cringe herb. I already consider it an integral weapon in the arsenal in my battle against depression.

St. John's Wort is more of a painkiller. The pain is neutralized, followed by a feeling of general well-being. St. John's Wort is homeostasis plus 1.

My depression has eased a great bit since this past winter, thanks to my supplement routines and an intensification of my exercise program.

But now I feel as if I've reached a certain plateau. I don't hurt as much, but I still have trouble feeling. I have emotions more often now, but not enough. I'm about 50% better, but I will not rest until I am 110% better.

This is where Gingko comes into the equation. When I drink Gingko tea I feel like the old me. Like the one who used to dream of Beverly Hills when Michael Jackson was still in his prime. Gingko is known as a mind-enhancer but I find it refreshing and "visceral". 100% visceral, 0% stuffy. It is a cool, refreshing breeze.

It rushes blood to my brain and my thinking becomes clear. Then I cringe. I feel so much like the real Will Johnson that I begin to cringe when I think of some of the things the depressed Will Johnson has said and done. I see - with painful, piercing clarity - that I was psychotically depressed. I realize this to an embarrassing and cringe-worthy extent.

Then I realize I am going to die and all the erudition flies out the window and I realize what intelligence really is. Not to mention character, emotion, humanness.

Gingko Biloba: a cool mountain breeze blowing away dust, mold, and stifled air.

Michael Jackson: A true talent and a representative of a much, much, much, much, much better time.