I'm a Puma

When I graduated from High School in 1999 I had an incredible sense of freedom. Everything was new and fresh: I had my whole life ahead of me. I remember when Kevin Spacey pined for his youth in "American Beauty." "All I did was party and get laid. I had my whole life ahead of me." I wasn't quite partying and getting laid yet, but I had my whole life ahead of me. What a feeling!

I could finally be myself. At that time I decided that myself was a sort of tough, thuggish, Hip-Hop kind of guy. I listened to Tupac, Biggie and Nas religiously and I was constantly writing my own rap songs. I was a middle-class white kid, but so was Kid Rock. Kid Rock and I are both the children of successful GM dealers (it's true - look it up!)

Kid Rock was another one of my heroes. Along with Eminem. I wanted to go for Kid Rock's kind of looks.

So a few days after graduation I went to the mall. I bought myself warm-up pants, a Puma shirt and shiny green Puma sneakers with bright white laces. Now I was all set to finally be a "wigger."

Now it's ten years later. TEN YEARS LATER. I think of how fresh and full of hope I was. I had a clean slate. Boy did I fuck that clean slate up. I was too immature, inexperience, insecure, unsure of myself and I did not have my own will and direction.

Now I'm starting with a clean slate again - and a lot more wisdom. I won't screw it up this time.