I don't really believe this, but sometimes I like to spook myself by thinking that I might be dead and just not know it, like Bruce Willis in "The Sixth Sense."

This is mostly because so many of my past moments seem like they were in a different reality, a different life. They seem strange and bizarre next to the way my life is now. And my life now can often seem strange and bizarre.

I had a nightmare the night before last. Despite feeling better by the day, I have panic attacks and nightmares at night (this makes it difficult for me to go to bed before 4am.)

This was my dream:

I wake up and go downstairs. Everything is covered in watery sludge and everything is wrecked. Water is coming from the crockery closet. The lights in the dining room are out (as they are in "real" life), making the place very dark. I try to put in a lightbulb, but it's bent out of shape. Going into the living room I am disturbed to find that the curtains and blinds are removed and that the windows are exposed. There is spackle all over the walls.

I am dead and the house is being worked on.