I'm just beginning to recover from four years of suppressing my sexuality. I broke up with my jailer in 2004 and I have incessantly ranted and raved about the evils of sexual compromise ever since.

What's ideal is having sex with a different person every single day. Barring that there need to be "purgatives" for sexual frustration.

If sex is not available, the next best option (at least from a spiritual and psychological point of view) is to engage in violence. Sometimes I am coldly rational, as cool as a cucumber. Realizing this fact I embrace violence when there is not the option for erotic bliss.

The only problem with violence is that it's illegal! Too bad. I guess I will just have to work harder at getting as much sex as possible.

Four years of sexual self-denial (that's a redundancy - the sexuality IS the self) filled me with black poison, with filth. With demons. With ugliness and sin.

I have to continue to purge that evil blackness. I have no chance at being fully happy until this is completely accomplished.

I must get to work.