Everything I Do is Brand New, three on contemporary American life

1.

Yesterday I was on the boardwalk and there was a gang of young, black kids, a bunch of skinny, wannabe knuckleheads and posturing wannabe thugs, the usual crowd. They were being loud and rowdy and warming up for an abusive-fest. Black kids love to indulge in "Abuse-Fests" where they go around abusing innocent people for no reason. These damned kids don't have enough to do! They should be in school 10 hours a day, 6 days a week, all year long. Skateboards should be made illegal.

Anyway, one of the skinny morons was rapping: "Everything I do is brand new..."

Wrong! Wrongo! NOTHING you do is brand new. NOTHING. You're as old hat as anything that happened in Rome. What you think is "brand new" existed thousands of years ago.

You don't believe me? Read Juvenal. Juvenal writes about living in the outskirts (the ghetto areas) of Rome. He writes of young knuckleheads with gold chains and gold teeth hanging outside corner bodegas. Sound familiar? Nothing changes. In this case, not even the clothes.

Or read Terrence. Terrence, in his time, was a black rapper. Yes, Terrence was a black man in Ancient Rome and he wrote plays about pimps, hos, hustlers, and street life. His characters spoke in a vulgar, slangish Latin that was much like the ebonics of today.

So no, nothing about you is new. You suck conformity out of a straw, you fraud! And you don't even know you're a fraud. Your ego is too big (for no good reason) and your brain is too small!

2.

Now on to the Herd Animals at these Town Hall meetings. What are these Herd Animals stampeding about? What are they so upset about? Talk of health care - when it doesn't confuse the living hell out of me - usually puts me to sleep. I don't know what the hell is going on! I'll admit my ignorance! But I must say that I am usually against whatever the Herd Animals are for and vice versa, of course. And I can tell just by looking at their pictures in the paper that they are Herd Animals.

3.

According to the Daily News, 57% of women would prefer an extra $50 a week over sex. Why are many (but not all) women so hateful? My heterosexuality is hanging by a thread. I could at least use an understanding shemale.

Money is that damned important? These women should be branded on the forehead with an "H" for "Hateful". Anyone who would choose $50 over sex is a hateful piece of work.

But that's our society. Everything is money. And what good is it? Money is good for one thing and one thing only: basic survival and one or two material luxuries. Past that it's good for nothing. Yes, the cliche is true: the best things in life are free - like sex and friendship.