Satanism and the Art of Lawnmower Maintenance

1.

Christmas Eve, 1994. The entire family was over our house. Highballs were being stirred, wine poured, beers cracked, cards exchanged, presents opened. Christmas music played on the stereo. "Deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa la la la la la la la la! 'Tis the season to be jolly!"

While all of this was going on around him my Dad sat on the couch and watched Holocaust footage on the big screen t.v. "Don we now our gay apparel! Fa la la la la la la la!" Hundreds of emaciated corpses were being shoveled into shallow graves. "Sing the ancient yuletide carol! Fa la la la la la la la la!" Skeletons pulled out of ovens.

"Bill, can you please change the channel? It's Christmas!" asked my Mom.

"Why? This is history! This is educational! The kids need to know about this!"

"But it's Christmas!"

This is where I get my sense of humor from.

2.

Love has to be like Kant's morality: Love must exist in, of, and for itself. Love must exist on an empty stomach or not at all.

3.

How mowing the lawn is like Kant's morality:

I mowed the lawn this morning. I love mowing the lawn: not much is better. But yard work cannot be done for the sake of bourgeois respectability.

Mowing the lawn must be done as an end in, of, and for itself. At the very least it must be done for the sake of sweat and its effectiveness in the fight against depression.

Other than that, what's the point?

4.

What people don't understand about organized Satanism is that it's not a religion but a chance to be a kid again. As a matter of fact, Satanism is anti-religion. Satanism is for reason, rationality, science, and education. It's general stance is that of Bill Maher. Think Bill Maher with horns and a staff.

Organized Satanism can be summed up as follows:

Unsophisticated Nietzschean philosophy meets magic and American kitsch.

A lot of people think magic(k) is silly, but it actually works. For myself I like to divide it into four general categories:

White High Magick: The "Great Work". The practices are extremely mind-altering meditations. The world changes because YOU change. It's like Buddhism in that it works even if it doesn't work. Very powerful.

White Low Magick: The use of Qabalistic charms to attain earthly desires that will assist in the "Great Work".

Black High Magic: The use of Satanic ritual to express carnal desires and to attain earthly desires.

Black Low Magic: The use of voice, body, language, dress, and publicity, etc... to generate and make the most of charisma, create "interest", and wield influence over others in the environment.

This is, of course, a very simplified explanation. I have dabbled in white and black magic(k) in the past and I know it does work. However, I do not practice magic(k) now because I do not feel I am ready or strong enough for it at this point in my life.

Remember that magick is just a mind-altering misunderstood physics - a possible science of the future, an investigation into the unknown. As of now I fear my road maps are not good enough.

5.

The Church of Satan founder, Anton LaVey, found his mannequins to be more interesting than most people. He thought they had more interesting things to say than most people.

Well, Lavey was Marilyn Monroe's lover and Sammy Davis Jr.'s friend. After being with extraordinary people (as I have) it's hard to go back to the Herd.

Like it or not, life is like a saying on a pizza box: "Once you've had the best, you don't want the rest."

I'm not saying that Marilyn Monroe or Sammy Davis Jr. specifically were the "best" but they were certainly very clearly distinguished from the Herd.