I really think my phobia of severe thunderstorms and/or tornadoes is a misguided sympathy ploy. When I was a little boy and truly afraid of storms in and of themselves, my mother often screamed at me: "WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A FRIGGING RETARD! GET A GRIP! GET A GRIP!!!!!!"

What if, since then, I have been trying to prove my fears legitimate by nursing this phobia? What if all of this is just passive-aggressive behavior toward my cunt mother?