The Sociopath Series #1: Enthusiasm Over Precision

I was a sociopath long before sociopathy became cool. But everyone copies me. Everyone imitates me. Everyone rips off my style. I wouldn't be surprised if some would attempt to rip off my own work - which is impossible anyway. I have no doubt I shall one day be deemed "Holy". One day all of my blogs will make up a Bible for a new global religion. Everyone bites off me.

Anyway, I was a sociopath long before it was cool to be a sociopath. In a way I go through my life thinking like a sociopath.

Then again I'm not a full-blow sociopath. I simply have a Neanderthal brain. Neanderthals had the "old" brains: creative and intuitive. In the fight for dominance and survival the "new" brains - practical, precise, efficient, cold, dry, unimaginative - won out. And this is the world they have created, for better and for worse.

But some of us are a bit more Neanderthal - in the best possible way. I read an interesting article recently speculating that Jews may be descended from Neanderthals. This may explain their many accomplishments in so many fields. Practical and Precise is what keeps things moving, but "creative" and "intuitive" is what pushes us and advances human evolution.

I've always felt like a Jew. There are rumors that I may have strong infusions of Jewish blood. My mother - like many extremely unintelligent people - was an anti-Semite.

I had problems with my mother, but it wasn't just because she was a cunt. It was because we were literally members of different species.

This may explain my oft-stated aversion to Herd Animals. My distaste for them may be primordial. My spirit and enthusiasm has always been in a primal fight against their practicalness.

All I know is I am grateful for imagination and I am my own narcissistic best company. I know how to amuse myself.

Margie Stimpkinfuckshit works at the local Quick Check. When I go there to buy a fruit drink and she is working I think: "There is my Porn Star buddy." My nickname for her is "The Porn Star".

Margie is about 60 years old. She weighs close to 300lbs. She has short gray hair and soft, flabby skin, like a pheasant. Deep wrinkles cut and carve out her pockets of dim-witted features: not much happens behind her bovine eyes.

For some reason every time I see her I think "Porn Star". When I see her I begin thinking like a porn casting director. Where could I MARKET her? I suppose it is only because I have seen women even less attractive than her in porn clips.

The only question is: How much would it cost to buy her? How much would I have to pay her to get her to have sex on camera? I'll bet I could buy her for $10,000 max. Most people on planet earth would slit their mother's throat for $1,000 - let alone a huge sume like $10,000. Actually, I bet I could get her for $1,000. She'd probably be so flattered she'd do it for $100.

I would like to see her become a Susan Boyle. I would like to see Margie aka Porn Star become a huge celebrity in "Porn Valley". I'd like to see her hang out at the sleazier end of a Los Angeles "beautiful people" scene. I'd like to think of her going to a pool party at a multimillion dollar mansion wearing nothing but a G-String. As a matter of fact I would like to see a poolside lesbian make-out between her and Susan Boyle.

Should I have mercy for inferior outcasts? I was always an outcast, but I was always cast out for being SUPERIOR - not INFERIOR. Should I have mercy for them. Should I be a shepherd for all outcasts? Is that my duty as a Christian? Wait - I'm not a Christian. And I'm no longer even plagued by everpresent anomie.

Oh, I'm a nice person. I don't hurt anyone. I just can't help speculating on the trajectory of Margie's possible porn career. Does having such type thoughts about everyone every second of every day make me a sociopath or just imaginative?

I'll opt for the latter.

Oh, and by the way: What does the argument of Enthusiasm Over Precision have to do with any of this?

What it has to do with this is: I am disabled by my spirit and enthusiasm. I could care less about precision. THIS IS EXACTLY THE REASON WHY IT HAS BEEN SO HARD FOR ME TO KEEP A JOB. For me it is more important to WORK HARD than WORK SMART. I love - LOVE - rowing with my oars out of the water! Rowing with oars out of the water is nobler than efficiency.

When I look at someone like Margie aka Porn Star I see a dull-witted cow who is nonetheless PRECISE and EFFICIENT. A part of me is subconsciously jealous of her.

Well, not really.