I've been playing hooky and it feels good, but it is also now a source of tension in my life.

I have been feeling much better. Much better. I have been throwing everything and the kitchen sink at my depression and I am finally beginning to feel human again.

I've mentioned before that the anhedonia is the roughest part. It is. The inability to experience pleasure. I now know that I did not have problems with anhedonia until after Prozac (by far the worst experience of my life...) Forget seratonin. I think that Prozac screwed up my dopamine levels. A short while after my severe Prozac withdrawal I remember doing something I once thought fun (riding a rollercoaster) and I remember not feeling a single thing either way. I was on a scary ride and all I was thinking about was what I had to do when I got home that day. I will never forgive the makers of Prozac for doing that to me. I think my brain may have been permanently damaged - to an extent.

That is why I MUST throw everything and the kitchen sink at my depression. EVERYTHING: nutrition, herbs, supplements, exercise, fresh air.

As far as getting a job... I honestly don't know if I would be able to function in the workplace right now. At this point I think a job could very well be a one-way express ticket back to a the worst psychotic depression. I already think I'm the Son of God. Mix that with a psychotic depression and see what ya' get!